In case any of you are planning to get me a gift regardless for chinese new year, valentines, belated bday present, christmas present, april fool day or just for fun. This is what i would want to receive. Ahemm.. *hints*

*drum rolls*

and this.

looks hot. I love

Yeah, Jay Chou’s Dragon Rider EP.

Not much not much, RM118 i think.

Thankyou.

Please allow me to be emotional.

If you think that i’m gonna ruin your happy mood, please don’t read.

Thank you.

Yeah, i am feeling bad. In fact, i am sad. im sad because cny isn’t like cny anymore. Family members don’t gather even it is cny. People prefer to travel more than usual family gathering. Be it to somewhere as far as Paris or somewhere as near as Thailand. It is still called travelling. I don’t have the very excited feelings of cny. Maybe because the group of people im celebrating with is getting smaller. Some are married and some are doing godknowswhat in other countries. I still prefer the traditional way of celebrating cny which is to get yourself back to your hometown. Why travel during new year when you have another 350 days  to do so?

my grandma is getting weaker and weaker. if you don’t know, i really love her. No, i should actually reconsider telling everyone that i love her this much. She is becoming weaker and i cannot do anything to help. In fact, i can its just that i am reluctant to do it. i should be staying in penang for a few months to take care of her till college starts but I’m not. I don’t deserve her to love me this much. I am afraid. Afraid of losing someone so close to me.

Friends. Ever since i am done with high school, i realised that i have very little friends. I meant friends that i can actually hang out with. I only stick to certain people and now that when everyone is busy with their daily routine, im left alone. i feel left out when everyone is working and studying while im still at home staring at that familiar ceiling/wall/fan/tv/phone and whatever. i still feel left out even when im surrounded with friends because it is me who couldn’t solve things out. kill me.

Now i know how the quote people always leave applies.

They are right, people always leave. Don’t they ?

i have this bad feeling that im losing everyone. i might be feeling that i am in the deepest trouble of my life but in fact compared to those who are facing financial problems, mine is nothing. i know im not tough. im not asking for much, i just want someone who can understands me without me having to say much. But who actually has this kind of power when even me, myself and i cannot understand myself? i don’t know what i want.

i don’t want to think like that but i just can’t help myself.

Im all set and geared up for CNY

( if you still remember this video )

Happy Chinese New Year to all

year of the ox.

Have a blessed one

Monday evening.

Now i know changes are good. Some people really changed themselves in a positive way. Definitely, i like these changes.  Eventhough it’s been a little too late, i still accept them.

Because after all, i don’t hate you. I really don’t.

Hate is a strong word yet forgiving is tougher.

He …

… turned 30 today.

Happy Birthday Dar =)

With lots of love.