An ordinary life is a crime.

I have always been someone who loves sleeping so much. I think this is the only hobby i had picked up and never want to thow it away. Somehow, at times i find it so difficult to fall asleep. Yesterday was one of those nights where i stared and just stared blankly at the ceiling. Yes, i had been thinking a lot about life, updates, all the what if(s) issues and birthday, this 18th birthday of mine which will be here next thursday. This is the time where people will crowd around me to sing the bday song, this song which everyone is capable to sing so loudly. This will be the time to receive countless text messages and calls from almost everyone including loved ones, friends and random people in life. This reminds me that im not forgotten.

Believe it or not, i have always wanted an extraordinary birthday with someone who is extraordinary to me. I have always wanted to be treated as a princess on my birthday itself. I wanted something like candlelight dinner, blowing cakes at the peak of the hill, clowns entertaining me with different shapes of balloons, countless beautiful and thoughtful gifts and so many more. Many years back, something hit me real hard, in fact so damn hard. I personally think that it changed me 360 degrees. My birthday wishes were changed into something so cheesy. I remembered I used to sulk like crazy, shed so many buckets of tears and just so many things. However, now im pretty sure that everything is over. In fact, nothing were left. I promised this is the last time im talking about this. I finally realised there’s nothing so proud about it. I used to search and search for someone who is perfect but not that perfect to replace this emptiness i had been feeling. To replace this sms partner, to replace this punching bag, to replace this someone who will just give kisses and hugs randomly, to replace this someone whom will always offer to pay for bills, to replace this person whom used to drool with me over David Beckham and Jay Chou.

In life, I used to be someone whom had been dieing to upload hotties pictures on facebook, i used to be someone whom had always been telling the whole world that i had moved on so quickly with another better guy. But as time passed, i realised none of this is important. Love is not about searching all your life time for the perfect man. Love is one miracle thing that comes naturally, i supposed. This year’s birthday wish will not be about hunting in town for this perfect man. I believe God will send me this angel when he thinks I’ m ready for it.

This birthday is going to be like any other birthdays, there won’t be any candlelight dinner, won’t be blowing out the candles at the peak of the mountain, won’t be having this and that. In fact, im still spending it alone. Not just this 18th birthday but also birthdays, christmas, new year’s eve, valentine’s day(s),cny and many upcoming happenings till the right time is here.