An ordinary life is a crime

It is raining heavily outside. I’m supposed to fit in more knowledge into my brain so that I’m able to do better this time. Somehow, Im just being very lazy.

2 down, 3 to go I may say… Bt somehow there’s this something that had been bothering me ever since sunday. I tried very hard to believe that I was being unconscious on sunday night. I was looking all over my room for something, something that might or might not inspired me to do better in exams.
But after searching here and there, I know that something is never in my room anymore. It gets me to wonder, to wonder very far away from here. No one else but its him that I was thinking about. I’m sorry, I’m still thinking about him now. If not, why would I even bother blogging?

I believe I was looking for something that still belongs to us. Be it big or small, as long as its about us, as long as it still reminds me of you. Somehow, it couldn’t be found. I remembered I threw everything away unwillingly. The soft toys, the pictures, the cards and small notes, and almost every single thing except for that bear flower which is still comfortably sitting in my wardrobe. I once was very angry at both of us that I gathered all my courage to throw them away. I thought without all these things, I’m able to live happily. Somehow, I realised I was wrong. I never get to forget any of these memories as its still so fresh in my mind. It feels like yesterday. Just yesterday.

I was frustrated, angry and upset a little.
Frustrated for he never seem to care anymore, angry at myself for being so weak and upset for we never managed to hold on. Ahhhh, it feels better after telling all out. I was hurt deeply that till now I can still remember everything so clearly. these are just some unhappy moments in the past relationship. No worries, I’m happy now. Very happy. I’m in a relationship, a happy relationship I would say. I seldom find myself so happy ever since.

Its just that at times I still wish that you would be here.