Summer
Let’s just keep things short.
Im alive and am very good =)
Enough of the complaining and sulking. Got fed up with them.
Mama said, ‘ life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you gonna get ‘
Rummage through the old files to find this picture of us !
Its her birthday today. Just got home from celebrating. No worries, her bday post will be next because its really damn funny and interesting ! We love it and i supposed she loves it too !
Taylors had really gave me one hell year and is still giving me now but nevertheless the friendship that i have now and the life experiences are priceless. Besides, there’s this someone that i found who actually dares to entertain me by wearing the bright pink shirt. I actually have lots of things to say about this but i will save it up for the taylors post. Because that post is supposed to be filled with lots of mixed emotions.
For now, goodnight =)
Move along
Hmmmmmm. The flight just left i think. No, not important.
As quoted by Wenzhee, winners are always winners while losers remain as losers. Getting back all the trials results in just one day is really disheartening. I cannot actually concentrate on anything after that. Yes, not even the first Creative Writing hour at 3pm. I was thinking to blog about my hard feelings. Believe it or not, i listed down one whole list of things that I want to fit into this post. Gah, but i forgot them now.
I wouldn’t tell you that im happy because im not. On the other hand, i wouldn’t say that im really upset but still upset.My eyes are puffy as a results of crying over night and in the evening just now. But come to think of it, i actually expected all these dramatic things to happen. I was sort of prepared for it but not that well prepared. I thought God would give me a miracle in life or maybe play with some magic tricks. Somehow, i was thinking too much because He never give one so many surprises in life right? To tell the truth, it’s really discouraging to see all the bad results but as most of them said the last 34 days will be the critical one. This 34 days is going to change everything including your TER.
But… How many of them really did work on this basis?
Hmmmmmm. Come and ask me this question again after Christmas. I will give you a definite answer if it works on me.
I couldn’t hold my feelings any longer after college and i did sulk in front of my mum once i reached home. The mother is always so sweet and supporting. Many would say crying doesn’t solve anything but when it comes to soft-hearted person like my mum it really did worked like 100 times. Perhaps, more than that. After that moment, my thought of moving out vanished into the thin air. Because i know i will never be so strong to stand alone especially through hard times like these.
Hmmmmm. I guess the sulking, whinning and complaning job stops here. I had enough of it. You had enough of it. Everyone had enough of it. For now, i wanna work harder and harder during the leftover 34 days. I believe i can make a difference. I bet this would be the first on most sam students wishlist after today.
It’s still the sweet and warm smile afterall.
Goodnights.
Relive every single moment i have missed
I didn’t intend to update. I was waiting for the right words to come so that things are expressed in a better way but i realised those words are never gonna come. Those right and proper words are not gonna come. So, why wait ?
College sucks. Thinking of going back there tomorrow freaks me out. Maybe college doesn’t sucks that much but the programme itself. Looking back at it, i never once did well for any sam exams. Yeah, never once and it never fails to make me shed tears for it. I know. It may sound so silly to cry over something like that bt it did mean a lot to me especially when my mum paid 20k for it and she thought that I manage to do things well. In fact, i didn’t. It certainly did turn my life upside down. Changing me from a happy-go-lucky girl to someone who is miserable, to someone who never fails to cry at night. Alright, not all the nights but most of it.
This year had been tough for me. In fact, i know it’s gonna be tougher later on. Everyone tried their best in comforting me to look forward to the future and forget the past but i sincerely apologize i couldn’t. The more i fink, the more i write, the more emotional this post is going to be and the more emotional im going to be.
So what? Stop here?
No. Because the right words are never gonna come, the bad feelings will just continue to bottle up. I just received several text messages from a friend, bestfriend indeed telling me that I had been a bad friend for the past few months. Coming to think of it, i realised that what she told me is nothing but the truth. The truth is always ugly, isn’t it? Somehow, Im glad that she confronted me. Not too late, not too early but at this time when I thought nothing else would go wrong anymore. But … there still is.
I guess i should really put down my egoistic and try making things better. Perhaps, i should not be so in love.
Happy but not
I’m really emotionally imbalance now. How i wish i can just have many and many more days of holidays. Damn it. I wish i have a genie in the bottle so that i get to make a wish – to forget everything in the past and start something new. I hate going to college now. I know the worse are not here yet. Gah, finals is in a month. Presentation and stupid bad trial results is next week. I guess im gonna sulk a lot =(
Gah, FML?
As happy as i may look, as fun as college may sound it is just not true.
